Wednesday, September 9, 2015

forgive me body for I have let you down...

so in a effort to 'taper' things before my triathalon...I did nothing/no exercise for 4 days before the event and then to rest up after I took another day off.... and guess what - I NOTICED the 6 days rest.
I've been exercising 4-6 times a week (sometimes 2x a day) and it makes me HAPPY and feel good.  (Wow never thought I would say that) but anyways I have battled depression over the years, been on medication in the past but been off medication now for long time...exercise has been my drug lifting my mood and giving me energy.  I was on a high after the race but today it all caught up with me...I was moody, sad, irrational, lazy and wanting to binge...I cried and cried and no it wasn't a PMS moment but a down moment, really far down.  I am having some stress at work transitioning between a new job and a old job/doing both..being on call and feeling frazzled.  I have been so diligent working out on my lunch break and even when i interviewed for the new job I said I would be taking time to exercise...but today I got pulled in so many directions that I broke down.. I put on my exercise gear and sat in my car crying, paralyzed by not knowing what to do, not thinking clearly and just being in a sad place.  I pulled myself together for the remainder of my work day but i wasn't the triathlon rockstar i was on Monday. loving and supportive boyfriend encouraged me to go for a run and he joined me and I feel so much better now (the run was hard - I was tired and feeling out of shape) but  it was a great reminder of the power of exercise and routine and I never want to be feeling this low again.
I'm committed to nourishing my mind and body every day...and I realize that I could have incorporated some gentle exercise in the days leading up to triathlon but I chose not too.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Just the right amount of crazy: Inspiration.

Just the right amount of crazy: Inspiration.:       I met Carleen in 2012. She was a Booty Camp newcomer but quickly became a beloved member of the team. She was quiet at first, like mo...


A Try-It Triathlon....Yeah I did!!!! Woot Woot Was an amazing amazing experience!!! 

The swim was cold and a bit disorienting (300meters), the beach run hurt my feet a bit (tide was WAY out), the bike ride (10km) was fun (EVEN the big hill to prospect point after my chain fell off and I put it on myself - and the fast guys with fancy helmets past me)...I rode my Comfort bike proudly with my basket and pink flowers zap strapped inside!!!..

quick transition to the run around lost lagoon (2.5km) with surprise cheerleaders 3 booty camp girls!!!! in all an AMAZING experience and super fun. now had a hot tub and relaxing and making plans for next years event...and contemplating what to do next smile emoticon Thank-you for the inspiration and the idea Kyla and Nicole and Congrats to all the Landmark grads that also rocked the event today. Redefine what is possible!!

Saturday, August 29, 2015

I rock and roll and JIGGLE!

These are my thighs.
These thighs have carried me many places and never let me down.  Carrying my former 310 pound body probably wasn't easy

These are my thighs helping me train for my first try-it triathlon. A triathlon is not something I ever thought I would do. But thanks to some landmark grads and my increased energy and fitness level I am taking it on. Today I am test driving my shorts. I don't normally run in shorts because I jiggle. Most women don't like to run in shorts because we jiggle. I took it on I rocked it and I'm ready for next weekend to cross the finish line in my shorts.

Thank you to the UK for inspiring women to get out there!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

i've lost control

it started with a weekend at the cabin...forbidden treats and food I've avoided. I had some, thinking hey lets treat myself.  I will enjoy some now and then get back on track next week. nooo problem..

well its a problem.  I've been off track since the rails like a crazy not good.
keep trying to talk myself out of eating what I've been putting in my mouth but can't seem to rationalize myself to stop.

I've been here, I've been down this path...I've called it self sabatoge in the past.  my body is changing shape, my clothes loosening up, people are noticing and all I want to do is shove my face with food.

Today was a full box of crackers, 4 mini quiches, a strudel (oh yesterday there was a strudel too- whoops). 

I start the day with good intentions but some how think its ok to cheat or to treat myself. I'm well aware when I'm not eating that this is dangerous slope and I have to get back on track.  its Rally Time.

My boyfriend knows and is trying to help me but then I get angry at him for 'telling me what to do'

Fat Prison- seen on a couple different websites-

I want to tell you about a very unusual sort of prison. It's called Fat Prison. Why is it so unusual? Because it's completely voluntary.
No one sends us to Fat Prison, we send ourselves!

What's it like to be a fat prisoner? The rules are very strict. To begin with, each prisoner must wear regulation uniform. This consists of a baggy skirt or elasticated pants. Most prisoners pretend they don't mind walking around in this shapeless uniform, but secretly they hate it. They'd much rather walk down the street in a slim pair of jeans.
Exercise is strictly controlled Swimming or playing with children is forbidden. And no prisoner may walk more than a few yards at a time. The penalties for breaking this rule include sweating, shortness of breath, soreness and fatigue. After a few years without any sort of proper exercise, prisoners become so soft that the very idea of movement terrifies them. If you don't believe me, go up to a fat prisoner and suggest a nice long walk in the fresh air!
Everyday life The main feature of everyday life inside Fat Prison is tiredness. Prisoners carry lots of extra weight around on their bodies, so not surprisingly they suffer from chronic fatigue. Result? After doing their daily chores, most of them slump down exhausted in front of the TV.
Even when they allow themselves a night out, many prisoners find it difficult to enjoy themselves. They feel awkward about their shape so instead of mixing with other people they tend to sit in the corner with other fat prisoners.
Prison Mentality After many years of locking themselves away inside their Fat Prison, many prisoners develop a prison mentality. They lose confidence in themselves and their ability to "go straight". They look at slim people and think: "I'm never going to be like them!" They think they are doomed to stay in Fat Prison, forever. Result? They let themselves go completely.
Bad for Health Fat Prison is very bad for prisoners health. Don't forget, the greater our weight, the greater the strain on our joints and spine. And the fatter we grow, the harder our heart has to work to keep us going. No wonder so many fat prisoners get ill!
Depressing Fat Prison is a depressing experience, not only for the prisoners but also for their families. In fact, the children of fat prisoners often grow up to become prisoners themselves. It's a vicious cycle.
Question So why do so many people end up in Fat Prison? And even more important, why don't they leave once they discover how awful it is?
Answer Because they prefer to eat cookies, chocolate, potato chips, popcorn, doughnuts, fatty meat and creamy desserts. They know that this stuff makes them fat but they don't care. They'd rather go to prison than give up their regular mouthful of fat. *Some may have other reasons
Are you a fat prisoner? Have you locked yourself up in your own private Fat Prison? If so, here's some advice. Don't waste another day of your life in jail. Get out now!
All you have to do is stop eating junk and start eating properly and you can walk free tomorrow.
It may take a few months before your weight returns to normal, but your tiredness will lift immediately and within a week you'll feel ten times better. So what are you waiting for?Get out of your Fat Prison today and start really living!