Thursday, May 21, 2015

i've lost control

it started with a weekend at the cabin...forbidden treats and food I've avoided. I had some, thinking hey lets treat myself.  I will enjoy some now and then get back on track next week. nooo problem..

well its a problem.  I've been off track since Friday...off the rails like a crazy train...so not good.
keep trying to talk myself out of eating what I've been putting in my mouth but can't seem to rationalize myself to stop.

I've been here, I've been down this path...I've called it self sabatoge in the past.  my body is changing shape, my clothes loosening up, people are noticing and all I want to do is shove my face with food.

Today was a full box of crackers, 4 mini quiches, a strudel (oh yesterday there was a strudel too- whoops). 

I start the day with good intentions but some how think its ok to cheat or to treat myself. I'm well aware when I'm not eating that this is dangerous slope and I have to get back on track.  its Rally Time.

My boyfriend knows and is trying to help me but then I get angry at him for 'telling me what to do'

Monday, May 18, 2015

What a difference 1.5months will make?!?! and 28 pound weight loss...yahooo!!

All the trials, tribulations, discouraging....is WORTH IT WHEN YOUR LOSING!!!

I have to thanks Isagenix for my new way of eating, having control over my food and having so much energy and fun!!

http://carleen.mc.isagenix.com/

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Out of integrity

so I'm plugging away on my isagenix plan....cheating here, cheating there and getting frustrated that I'm not losing as fast as I was.  Not even acknowledging I'm CHEATING!!!  realized that I was congratulating myself with dinner...a big dinner/no counting/no calorie tracking dinner when I 'survived' my day of shake/snack/workout/shake/snack.   ooppss.
There has been many many times I have failed on past 'diet' plans..I've gathered evidence to support that I'm special/different/unique and 'those plans' don't work for me...what I figured out last night in my Landmark seminar...is I cheat/quit/sabatoge my efforts in those plans so I can prove myself right!! so I can be the poor girl who weight watchers didn't work for...or the girl that just loved food more then anyone else.  I realize that perception is crap...its tied to my past failures and it really isn't serving me well at this moment.  So today I start being in integrity (doing what I say I'm going to do) and really start following this plan to see the success.  During my seminar session last night I actually shared in front of 120 people this realization...I was in tears- basically saying the jig is up and I've figured this out and now I'm watching for my self sabotage and my negative patterns.... and now anything is possible. I am not the girl that can't loose weigth, they girl that failed to loose weight to get to goal of 210 at HighSchool graduation...I'm a new me and ready to crush those numbers on the scale!!!!!!!!!!  and to be conscious of all the chatter in my head and all the tricky games I like to play.

onwards and downwards!
C

Friday, February 20, 2015

Down 11.9 pds

Now the stress, anxiety seems like a thing of the past.  The success of almost 6pds a week seems amazing to me.  Motivated to keep going and to accept that I have 2events this weekend where lots of food is involved. And then get back on track Monday

Sunday, February 15, 2015

1st cleanse

Well I successfully cleansed yesterday.... Well I don't know about success but I didn't eat any food!!    Woke up at 515am for first ferry, spent 7hrs at the spa/hot tub/sauna/ and still managed to survive.  Got super cranky, but kept with isasnacks and isadelights ...I think I had 1extra of each but since my day started 3hrs earlier, walked 40mins and was swimming lots I think it was ok.  I dreamt about eating candy and crackers by accident last night in my dream. And of course I waited till I woke up alive today to send this text hehe.  Anyways I'm going back to shakes today!  Happy Sunday

Twitter Updates 2.2.1: FeedWitter

Fat Prison- seen on a couple different websites-

I want to tell you about a very unusual sort of prison. It's called Fat Prison. Why is it so unusual? Because it's completely voluntary.
No one sends us to Fat Prison, we send ourselves!

What's it like to be a fat prisoner? The rules are very strict. To begin with, each prisoner must wear regulation uniform. This consists of a baggy skirt or elasticated pants. Most prisoners pretend they don't mind walking around in this shapeless uniform, but secretly they hate it. They'd much rather walk down the street in a slim pair of jeans.
Exercise is strictly controlled Swimming or playing with children is forbidden. And no prisoner may walk more than a few yards at a time. The penalties for breaking this rule include sweating, shortness of breath, soreness and fatigue. After a few years without any sort of proper exercise, prisoners become so soft that the very idea of movement terrifies them. If you don't believe me, go up to a fat prisoner and suggest a nice long walk in the fresh air!
Everyday life The main feature of everyday life inside Fat Prison is tiredness. Prisoners carry lots of extra weight around on their bodies, so not surprisingly they suffer from chronic fatigue. Result? After doing their daily chores, most of them slump down exhausted in front of the TV.
Even when they allow themselves a night out, many prisoners find it difficult to enjoy themselves. They feel awkward about their shape so instead of mixing with other people they tend to sit in the corner with other fat prisoners.
Prison Mentality After many years of locking themselves away inside their Fat Prison, many prisoners develop a prison mentality. They lose confidence in themselves and their ability to "go straight". They look at slim people and think: "I'm never going to be like them!" They think they are doomed to stay in Fat Prison, forever. Result? They let themselves go completely.
Bad for Health Fat Prison is very bad for prisoners health. Don't forget, the greater our weight, the greater the strain on our joints and spine. And the fatter we grow, the harder our heart has to work to keep us going. No wonder so many fat prisoners get ill!
Depressing Fat Prison is a depressing experience, not only for the prisoners but also for their families. In fact, the children of fat prisoners often grow up to become prisoners themselves. It's a vicious cycle.
Question So why do so many people end up in Fat Prison? And even more important, why don't they leave once they discover how awful it is?
Answer Because they prefer to eat cookies, chocolate, potato chips, popcorn, doughnuts, fatty meat and creamy desserts. They know that this stuff makes them fat but they don't care. They'd rather go to prison than give up their regular mouthful of fat. *Some may have other reasons
Are you a fat prisoner? Have you locked yourself up in your own private Fat Prison? If so, here's some advice. Don't waste another day of your life in jail. Get out now!
All you have to do is stop eating junk and start eating properly and you can walk free tomorrow.
It may take a few months before your weight returns to normal, but your tiredness will lift immediately and within a week you'll feel ten times better. So what are you waiting for?Get out of your Fat Prison today and start really living!